Trying is fun, I have to admit. So I'm not complaining (and I don't think Sweetie is either!) WE timed everything pretty well again I think this month. But I think I have gotten to a place. I don't think I feel too pressrued. I mean if it doesn't happen, right now, I'm okay. I have given myself several months for us to get pregnant and I'm fine (up until then). I don't want to panic or feel like this HAS to happen right now for me.
BUt that doesn't stop my hormones, emotions and psyche from doing it's own thing. It's every month right b4 my cycle begins. And I get very emotional. I can't stop crying. I feel depressed. I feel like Chase died just yesterday. It's part of the grieving I know, but it's part of my body right now, too. I can't stop it. I can't control it. It usually lasts just a day or so. But it is very physical for me. PSychological, too. It's painful, emotionally. Wish it didn't have to be.
Miss you Chasey. Hugs from mama. xoxoxoxooxoxxoxooxoxoxoxoxooxox
About Me
- Christy
- This is my blog where I will be writing about my life as it happens. I am married to my best friend, my confident, my soulmate. We have 2 girls, then a boy, all healthy pregnancies, healthy babies. Then on April 14, 2009, our fourth baby was damaged during labor and delivery. I do not understand why this happened to us, we did everything we thought we were supposed to do. We love each other, we love ourselves, and we love our children more than anything. Chase would have only enhanced what we already had. But instead of being in our arms, he is in our hearts, in our minds and in our souls, deeply embedded, walking this road of life with us in another form. We are all different people, trying to learn how to be a family this way. But I am the luckiest girl in the world to have what I have. I just happen to be one of the unluckiest, too, for having been dealt this tragedy.
Other rainbow babies
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