Friday, February 19, 2010


Trying is fun, I have to admit. So I'm not complaining (and I don't think Sweetie is either!) WE timed everything pretty well again I think this month. But I think I have gotten to a place. I don't think I feel too pressrued. I mean if it doesn't happen, right now, I'm okay. I have given myself several months for us to get pregnant and I'm fine (up until then). I don't want to panic or feel like this HAS to happen right now for me.

BUt that doesn't stop my hormones, emotions and psyche from doing it's own thing. It's every month right b4 my cycle begins. And I get very emotional. I can't stop crying. I feel depressed. I feel like Chase died just yesterday. It's part of the grieving I know, but it's part of my body right now, too. I can't stop it. I can't control it. It usually lasts just a day or so. But it is very physical for me. PSychological, too. It's painful, emotionally. Wish it didn't have to be.

Miss you Chasey. Hugs from mama. xoxoxoxooxoxxoxooxoxoxoxoxooxox

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