Thursday, January 21, 2010


I took 2 tests this week. I hated taking the second one. I did not want to get another negative. I don't want to get freaked out about this. I want it to happen if it is supposed to happen. This whole TTC thing gets soooo mental, though. This is one thing that if you want it bad enough....I just don't want to do that because I don't want to have to live with that if it doesn't happen. That I always wanted it so bad.
The first test I took the first day of my period since it didn't come. Afterall, I had the "answers" to the test, right, so if all that is right, we nailed the day(s) and we should be pg. Nope. Patric was as anxious as I was. He didn't push me, but he wanted to know as bad as I did. He asked me before I even had a chance to ask myself. So neg test and then still 3 days wo a period. wtf? Worse than a flunking this test? My cycle being all messed up. So tonite, the third day of my missed period, it starts. I should have known. I was sooooo emotional today. Tears just came. Like they always do during my period. Last night I started breaking out on my face. Nothing big...til this morning, then it was like wearing that sign that says AF came to visit. Then this evening I started feeling bloated. Never campy t hough. And low and behold, she's here. Well, 31 days, at least it's not too far off. I had told myself last week that anytime between now and July would be just fine. So now I just have to really feel that way. Wish me luck.
The biggest thought on my mind with getting pregnant? Telling Karly. I don't know why, yes I do, but that's going to be one of the coolest when I get to tell Karly we're having a baby.

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