Monday, January 4, 2010

I'm all messed up. I wrote down that I started my period on teh 22nd but I really thought it was the 24th. Yes, what coulda been a wonderful CHristmas present was lovely AF instead. Anyway, so I don't know if I'm ovulating today or in 2 days. I had a little "pinkishness" this morning and yesterday we had sex so we'll see how this works out. We had agreed to start "trying" in January so I guess we'll keep at it this week. (didn't mean to make that sound so mandatory!) I don't feel pressure. I feel calm. I want to just start having fun with my husband again. Whatever comes of it is whatever comes of it. It's hard and sad to read about others' stories of failed pregnancies after loss. I am so excited for another pregnancy and know I would feel completely different about it than I ever have in the past. But I also know that it is such a miracle--all of it. From the day you bring the baby home. It's all a miraculous event that I wouldn't take any of it for granted. I know that this baby, or attempt at one, is as much for the kids as it is me. Please, let it be...

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