After having some contractions this week that were a little daunting (being 3 hours away from the hospital), the dr. told me my cervix was pretty much closed yesterday. This is good as we are planned to deliver by c-section next Friday and more than a few family members have spent some hard earned money to attend this event! I am feeling plenty of pregnancy pains at this time. My hips are hurting, making it hard to sleep at night and get comfortable. Riding in the car to Abq yesterday for 6 hours (plus) hurts today--on my bum! There are times I can hardly walk because those feet are pushing on my lower abdomen or moving across my belly--ouch. But I can honestly say with my whole heart--I love it. I mean it. I love feeling this every move of this little baby boy. I am so lucky to have this. I love this little being more than I can put to words. These pregnancy pains are such a tiny tiny price to pay for what we will get out of it next week. And I appreciate that this time--like I never have before. Chase taught me so much these last 22 months and this is the biggest one. To appreciate this pregnancy for what it is each and every day.
The baby sounds wonderful on the NST and looks great on the BPP ultrasound--we even got some 3D sneaks at him again. And the doctor gave me the run down of what to expect in the operating room..... in a normal setting, that is! She said once, "you'll still be draped from here down" and I said, "oh no, I wasn't draped last time at all---there wasn't any of that! So tell me more..." She fully understands what anxieties I feel for this surgery and is very calming in telling me all this. I asked her several questions about how long it would take and where the baby would be and where Patric would be and how I would feel and all that. She promised me that I would be fully numb and would not feel a thing. I don't really believe this so I guess I'll find that out for myself. Honestly, when I think about all this, it scares the hell out of me. I would much rather have a natural delivery the way I am used to...even though it's been a long time and a lot I don't remember! Getting the baby out is not the hard part! I really want the baby as soon as it is born so this I am not looking forward to. At. All. I don't want to have to wait to get sewn up before I get him. I know there are dangers, but a tiny part of me secretly hopes I go into labor before all this happens and have him on my own. But I know Patric is not comfortable with this and so we will plan the surgery. All in all, we all want the same thing: a healthy baby born into our anxiously awaiting arms. The kids are ready--we are packing our bags this weekend and washing up baby clothes and packing the baby bag. Everyone is prepared. We can't wait to meet him!
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