Monday, June 28, 2010

More symptoms

I have been feeling nauseous the last 4 or 5 days.  My boobs are starting to hurt.  I do have some zits.  My skin is real oily.   I've been a little gassy, nothing too bad.

I think about this little bean all the time.  I am so excited and I know this time is going to go extremely fast. But I am so very scared, too.  I am scared the pregnancy won't last.  Once we hear the heartbeat, I am scared it will stop beating and we won't get to the 2nd trimester.  I called the dr. office today and left a message.  I am hoping to get in for an appointment some time before we go camping.

I mentioned the zits because zits always mean it's a boy for me.  I was worried because at first I didn't have any.  I know Patric wants a boy.  Then I got the zits and think it could possibly be a boy.  Who knows!  But then....I want a boy so bad...for Patric and for Reese.  Karly wants a little brother, too.  I would love to have a little boy.  But what I really want is Chase.  I want Chase and then I want this baby to be a girl.  I want a little girl so bad.  But I want a boy because I really really wanted a boy last time.  I don't know what to think.  I think I won't think about it because I just want this baby to be healthy and that's what I will be praying for the entire pregnancy.  I just want a little boy and I want a little girl.  Both.  But I want the little boy to be Chase.  My little Chase.  Chase who should be a year and 2 months right now. I miss him so bad.  I ask him to help me through this pregnancy like he did when he was in my tummy.  I know he will.  I can feel his love wrapped around me.  I miss him so much.

You have big shoes to fill little one!

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