Tomorrow we go to Albuquerque, my appointment is at 12:45. I am nervous and excited. I can't wait for this appointment and the pictures, but I have almost heard too many bad things not to be scared. And I am. Scared. I envision the moment of the u/s and measuring everything and hearing, "everythign looks good!" But I can almost imagine a different outcome, too, and for that, I feel guilty, scared and anxious. I am praying and will be praying hard tonight for all good news. I can't wait to see you little one. I am sure I have felt you...just a few moments ago even. i know you are there. I know you are okay. I know you are perfect. I know you are a blessing sent from Chase & heaven above. But I am still scared. Protecting my children is the hardest thing to do in my life and I feel I have failed once and am scared it might happen again. I promise you if/when you make it to my longing arms, I will never let anything happen to you. I will do everything I can to take the best care of you now and until then, too. Please, please, please.....I love you.